News Post

The following submission was requested by the Alabama State Bar’s Quality of Life, Health, and Wellness Committee and is intended to assist lawyers in improving the quality of legal services and improving the educational and ethical standing of the bar §34-3-43(a)(7)). Views and conclusions expressed in submitted articles are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of the employees of the Alabama State Bar, officers of the Alabama State Bar, or members of the Board of Bar Commissioners.

by Amber Yerkey James

Lawyers’ lives are often defined by rigorous schedules, looming deadlines, demanding clients, and high-stakes cases. However, amidst the hustle and bustle of our careers, it is crucial to remember the importance of social wellness. Social wellness, the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, is an essential component of overall well-being. In the context of our profession, where stress and burnout are prevalent, the importance of a supportive and positive social circle cannot be overstated. One of the most poignant quotes that encapsulates the essence of social wellness comes from motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This statement underscores the significant influence our close associations have on our personal and professional lives. For lawyers, this means that the people we surround ourselves with can greatly impact our mental health, professional success, and overall happiness.

Our social circle, made up of other lawyers, friends, family, coaches, colleagues, and mentors, plays a pivotal role in shaping our attitudes, behaviors, and outlook on life. Positive relationships can provide emotional support, reduce stress, and enhance our sense of belonging and self-worth. Conversely, negative relationships can drain our energy, increase anxiety, and contribute to feelings of isolation and depression.  As lawyers, the pressures on our personal and professional lives are immense, and having a circle of supportive and understanding individuals who want the best for us and are willing to hold us accountable to our goals is invaluable. These individuals can offer guidance, share in our triumphs, and provide a listening ear during challenging times. They can also serve as a source of motivation and inspiration, encouraging us to strive for excellence and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

To cultivate a positive social circle, it’s essential to be intentional about the relationships we nurture.  First, we should reflect on the people in our lives life and identify those who positively impact our well-being. These are individuals who support our personal and professional goals, provide constructive feedback and accountability, and genuinely care about our happiness and success.  We must also reflect on the people in our lives who are detrimental to our well-being and set clear and distinct boundaries. This can be incredibly difficult; however, setting boundaries with negative influences can help protect your mental health and create space for more positive connections. Once you have identified the positive influences and set boundaries with the negative influences, then you need to invest in building strong relationships with those who you have identified as positive influences, make a sincere effort to pour into those individuals and allow them to pour into you.  You should make time for regular interactions, whether it is through scheduled meetings, casual get-togethers, or simple check-ins. Showing appreciation and support for the people in your circle and expressing a willingness to offer your help and encouragement in return will help you build strong, positive bonds with the people who refresh and recharge you during the inevitable difficult times.

In addition, finding mentors, coaches, or mastermind groups of like-minded peers can be incredibly beneficial. Mentors, coaches, and members of a mastermind group can offer valuable insights and advice based on their experiences.  They offer an outside perspective on issues you are facing as a lawyer (and as a business owner if you own or are a partner in a law firm) and draw from their experience to help you fill in gaps in your knowledge base whether that is from a legal perspective or a business perspective. Throughout my legal career, I have had the benefit of other lawyers or retired judges who have graciously answered questions, given guidance, or allowed me to bounce ideas around; however, I have also had business coaches who have walked with me through all the various aspects of running a law firm that no one taught in law school.  During this last year, I have also joined a local mastermind group of other entrepreneurial-minded individuals in my community.  Each member of my group faces similar problems even though the businesses we each own are vastly different in the products or services we offer.  We draw on each other’s experiences to improve our lives and businesses.  Having these mentors, coaches, and mastermind group members as part of my circle has been invaluable to both my personal and professional growth.

In conclusion, the importance of social wellness cannot be overlooked, especially for lawyers. The people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our well-being and success. By being mindful of our social circles and investing in positive relationships, we can enhance our personal happiness, professional satisfaction, and overall quality of life. Remember Jim Rohn’s words: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Choose your circle wisely and strive to cultivate a network that supports and uplifts you in all aspects of your life.